I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
