Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
