Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
