Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
