so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
