My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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