I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize