Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
