is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
