He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
