Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
