I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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