dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
