Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize