i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize