nutella sex= disaster
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
