I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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