Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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