he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
