Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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