allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we made out on top of his cat.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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