using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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