We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
