your room smells of hookers.
And success
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
