It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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