you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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