her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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