I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
