I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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