everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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