we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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