Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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