used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
