i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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