Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
