she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
