Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

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(210): View more from Texas

ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.

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(214): View more from Texas

Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?

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(585): View more from New York

seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs

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(708): View more from Illinois

Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time

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