haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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