ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
