I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
