My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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