sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
