Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize