If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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