we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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