After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
