sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
