Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize