Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There are leaves in my underwear?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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