I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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