omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
