I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
