May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize