if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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