She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
