He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
