I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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