LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
