My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
