Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize