Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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