she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
