Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
