Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
