i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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