Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
