hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
