'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
