call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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