like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
