Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
