i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
