Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
