Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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