then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
