David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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