Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
should my penis look like a turkey
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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