I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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