If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
