like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
