Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
